Spiritual Amnesia: How we forget about God's provision when trouble comes

“Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread?... Do you not remember?” – Mark 8:17,18

In the gospel of Mark, we read of an encounter between Jesus and his disciples. As was common, they were traveling by boat, and what seems to be equally common is that they found themselves, yet again, without bread.   Jesus tries to have a teaching moment with them, saying “Watch out, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod” (Mark 8:15 ESV). Yet, the disciples ignore him and go on discussing their lack of food. Jesus, exasperated or heartbroken, we don’t know which, reprimands them for their lack of understanding and faith. He says, “Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Having eyes do you not see and having ears do you not year? And do you not remember” (Mark 8:17-18). He then reminds them of the miraculous—of how he just fed 4000 people from seven loaves and 5000 people from 5 loaves. The story finishes with Jesus asking them, “Do you not yet understand” (Mark 8:21)?

From the vantage point of hindsight, it is always easy to judge the disciples, but how often are we just as blind, prone to suffer from amnesia with respect to God’s provision? It happens all the time. He is continually caring for us, getting us through hardship after hardship, and answering our prayers. But then we find ourselves back in the boat of familiar trouble and we forget all that he’s done for us. Rather than trust, our minds flood with worry. In this mindset, we lose sight of who God is and what he is capable of. Distracted by worry, we also miss the opportunities for growth that God is providing. In the gospel account, the disciples don’t even listen to Jesus’ lesson about the leaven. The truth he was trying to teach couldn’t get though their distraction over their current state of worry. When we are too focused on our immediate needs and problems, it is so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture, and what is most important.

As I was reading this, God gently showed me the similarities to my own situation.  I recently endured a five-year ordeal with an injury that culminated in a hip surgery with extensive recovery. Those were years filled with pain, heartache, and loss. While that hip has now fully recovered, I am beginning to feel pain in the opposing hip, which has me worried. As I was reading this gospel account, I was feeling distracted, my thoughts muddled, struggling to concentrate on the lesson before me. In my discouragement, I felt the Spirit remind me: “Yes, those years were hard, but didn’t I use them and your prior pain to bring you closer to me? Didn’t our relationship grow stronger? Didn’t I give you new opportunities outside of exercise to build a new identity in me? Didn’t I bless you with a writing ministry you would not have pursued if healthy?”  I was humbled at the reminder of God’s powerful provision. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t endured those years of pain. God reminded me of all the beauty that came from the trial. But most of all, he reminded me of his presence throughout it all.

While I might not know what will happen in my current situation, I do know that God will also remain with me this time around. I don’t need to fear the future, because even in hardship and lack, his provision is always plentiful. I am praying for a softened heart and a stronger memory for all the times that God has worked in my life so that worry will not overtake me when hardships come. But what about you? Have you suffered from amnesia of God’s provision to where you lost sight of who he is? Is your heart hardened to where you are missing the lessons he is trying to teach you? If so, I encourage you to reflect on all the ways God had provided for you in the past. Write them on your heart so that when trouble comes you will be able tune out the worry and listen to Jesus instead.